Jokes / Military
Aussie Trouser Snake ->
An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt,... [ca造 ->]
Bubba and Junior! ->
Two good ol' boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank." "But we's privates," protests ... [ca造 ->]
Custer's Last Thoughts ->
The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from th... [ca造 ->]
Early retirement ->
The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general'... [ca造 ->]
French Fighter Pilot ->
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of... [ca造 ->]
Gun Barrel ->
A man joins the crew of a ship. After a few days he gets restless and asks "What does one do about sex around here?" The others direct him to a large gun barrel with a hole in it. At first he does not like the idea much but, when he tries it, he f... [ca造 ->]
Little johnny at school ->
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand. ... [ca造 ->]
Mind over matter! ->
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Alaska. The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I want you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've mastered the art of mind... [ca造 ->]
On the Train ->
A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a supply boat to a base in the south of England, then caught a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he ... [ca造 ->]
Soldier's Ambition ->
An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get ba... [ca造 ->]
Stand Still, Soldier! ->
Military training: During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the ... [ca造 ->]
Who Is Braver? ->
Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest. To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! C... [ca造 ->]
Army Wisdom ->
A Purple Heart proves three things: you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive. 10 second fuses only last 7 seconds. Anything you do can get you shot, even doing nothing. Claymores are labeled ... [ca造 ->]
Gulf War Remembered! ->
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet. Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey. Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey. Q: What do Saddam ... [ca造 ->]
Hit Television Shows in Iraq ->
"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed" "Suddenly Sanctions" "Allah McBeal" "Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest" "Matima Loves Chachi" "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show" "Buffy The Slayer of Yank... [ca造 ->]